I could bore you with long sorry tales about my family’s beliefs about money. Cut to the chase and they essentially boil down to “We can’t do it.” I ingested those beliefs whole, and since then I have been chipping away at them.
However, I’m in a fortunate position. Due to last year’s efforts, we’ve got the financial trajectory for the rest of this year worked out. It’s leaner than we’d like and it’s time to get cracking on next year and to build a more solid future.
Which of course, kindly, takes away the immediate urgency. But it also…takes away the immediate urgency. It allows me to wallow in my fears about earning rather than doing something about earning. Watching how recent months slid by with little financial action by me, I see how easily I could suddenly get to Labor Day with little to nothing going on.
On the positive side, as I’ve written before, this situation also allows me to take a little time to step back and envision some type of work future that is inspiring. I started this blog project to kick my butt a little, get myself out of the wallow pit and get excited about these, ahem, opportunities ahead.
It’s time to take out the trust axe. And every slogan, trick and tactic I’ve discovered in my long life. Remembering that I have certainly made a living before, remembering that line about how God clothes the lilies of the field, remembering that worry does nothing, remembering that you have to plant the seeds before you get the fruit.
And remembering that trust doesn’t mean I’ll get rich, or even be ok in the way that I imagine: being healthy, housed and happy, able to cover the bills while also paying for education and great vacations.
It’s another one of life’s blind jumps. Trusting that it’s simply time for me to tackle another inner blockage. That it’s what is needed for a new prosperity and success.
And knowing that it might not go that way. If so, then there’s no choice but to trust that as well. The cool thing is that I’m thinking about this as other than a raw deal. It really does seem to be getting a little exciting.
This post is part of a series of posts on trust, based on the 21-Day Salutes originated by blogger Colleen Wainwright. The intention is to write daily to help shift a habit. Originally, she had been told that it takes 21 days of new behavior to change a habit. She has since found out that it is apparently takes much longer. Oh well….