Yesterday, I really liked the outfit I put together. I liked moving about the day — occasionally rubbing my hand on my red sweater, pulling down on the red and brown skirt that I got at a clothes swap last year.
I finally framed and put up a series of my girls eating peaches in a peach tree. I hornswaggled my husband to help me hang art on a living room wall that has been blank since, ahem, last year’s renovation. One of those is a watercolor of a Bermuda beach that was my grandmother’s. It’s old fashioned, but it makes me happy to look at it.
During this series, I’m trying to move deeper into a sense of inner trust. And for me, it’s like capricious spotlight. Sometimes I stand, bathed in light, sure of myself. Sometimes, I’m running around after it like a cartoon character.
Taking the time to get to some of those small things that matter only to me helps. Even though I’m taking exterior actions, they have an interior effect because I’m taking care of myself. And unfortunately, eating well or exercising doesn’t inspire the same sense of well-being. It’s got to be a little more decadent and unnecessary to basic needs than that to get this nice feeling.
This time around, I hope to build from these actions a surer sense of how to proceed, since my future is wide open.
Each day I act on big-picture things too, but looking at that wall or enjoying the feel of a shirt on my arm brings me back to myself. One day I will be busier and I’ll be glad I’ve gotten this stuff done — I hope. The gentle path of trust between not doing, and overdoing.
This post is part of a series of posts on trust, based on the 21-Day Salutes originated by blogger Colleen Wainwright. The intention is to write daily to help shift a habit. Originally, she had been told that it takes 21 days of new behavior to change a habit. She has since found out that it is apparently takes much longer. Oh well….